When a couple has decided to file for divorce, this decision usually affects many people. If the family has children, they are the most important affected family members, besides the husband and wife. How the dissolution is handled will speak to the amount of pain incurred.

If the decision is to litigate the dissolution, this process can be the most devastating to all members of the husband and wife and the immediate family. The litigation choice is the most difficult, at best, to resolve the differences. There will be disagreements all through the process. By default, the husband and wife give up most of their decision making process to the court. If they cannot agree on how the family will be split, the judge will decide for them. In this process, after much debate and fighting, no one wins. The couple realizes in the end they have spent a lot of money and allowed someone else determine custody issues, money issues, assets and support.

Are There Better Ways?

Yes there are better ways. Couples can choose mediation or collaborative divorce, for processing the dissolution. These processes provide peaceful resolutions with trained mediators, consulting attorneys or collaborative attorneys.

Mediation, how does it work?

The mediation process is comprised of a team. Usually, there is a neutral mediator, a neutral financial, a consulting attorney the husband hires, and a consulting attorney the wife hires. The neutral mediator is most often a trained mediating attorney. The mediator and financial will provide support to the Team during the entire process. The Team will meet several times with the objective of bringing the process to final agreements.  This process is only for those couples that have a good idea of how the dissolution will conclude.

The Collaborative Process, how does it work?

In this process, the team consists of collaboratively trained professionals. They are: a neutral financial, an attorney the husband hires, an attorney the wife hires, a coach for the husband and a coach for the wife, The financial handles the financial and tax aspects of the process, the attorneys handle the legal portion, and the coaches handle the emotional and family issues. This process has been very successful in helping a family reorganize.